Back to the Grind

My weight and depression spiraled, and it took over two years to repair my injuries from the car accident.  I have been through two rounds of HCG so far, and have lost 40 pounds.  I am hoping to get back to where I was - around 205 pounds, and running 4 miles.  I did it before, so I can do it again.
I have a few extra challenges, like my age, menopause, stress and all that, but we will see how it goes...

Next Round of HCG

Well, the backsliding has continued... I was up to 261 pounds, and am back in the 250's at the moment.  After many months, I finally got the better thyroid test so I can include or eliminate a thyroid problem.  I seem to have added menopause to my woes as well.
The biggest setback is the car accident I had in June... me versus a deer... I think the deer won, but I am grateful that my rotator cuff is the only casualty -- my whole family was in the car, and they are okay.  I have tried to run, even walk, but it is painful; I cannot even dress myself, and some normal things are just excruciating.  I will be going to an orthopedic surgeon soon, and hopefully through physical therapy, I can get back on the horse here.
I will be going back on the HCG soon... and considering what happened at the lower end of my weight, I am going to shoot for the 205 pounds, and then have the plastic surgery, and what I have, that is what I will try to maintain.  I was able to run a 5k at that point, and I am happy with that...

Backsliding...

My weight has been going up like crazy; I am up to about 239.  I was at 205 for a long time; I ran the Color Run on December 15th at that weight.  Soon after Christmas, I started feeling poorly and gained fifteen pounds in perhaps a week or two.  I was having problems with bone spurs in my feet as well, so I had to stop running, which caused a second fifteen-pound weight gain, to about 235.  I got my foot fixed as well as I could (not great, but good), and I have started running again, but my weight has been 235-240.
I went to the doctor, and my blood tests were good; my protein is a little low (gastric bypass), and my hypothyroid has returned (gee, what a surprise).  My doctor will not address my depression at all.  My blood pressure actually runs a little lower (about 110/65) and my pulse is in the 60's.
I am now hard at work trying to get my weight down a little, and trying to get my running back up; I only run 1 or 2k, but still have speed.  I am going to try slowing down a little to possibly get some distance back.
I asked Dr. Center for a shorter (21-day) version of the diet, so I will try to figure out when to put that back in.  I was really surprised that the weight jumped up so violently, so I will see if this is as far as the HCG takes me, or I will find that lowest number.
I went to a plastic surgeon, and it was humiliating to stand there looking really ugly, but surgery is definitely in my future.  I have to know where my "real" weight is, and what my body is really supposed to look like; it was depressing to see what I look like now.  My friend tells me that I look pretty thin, but I don't see it.  Well, I have gained a few pounds now too, so I will have to crack down on that...

HCG Day 24

It turns out that I am getting immune to the HCG, so I will have to cut this round short.  I will spend the next three days on the 500 calorie diet, then the three weeks of limited eating.  During the first 20 days, I lost 21 pounds, so I am currently 195 pounds.  My doctor said I could start another round in about six weeks, but that probably won't happen - I will probably start again at the new year; January 2nd or so.
I will have more time to train for the Color Run, and I hope that perhaps I can make it under 190 pounds by then.
I believe the 20 day rounds won't be as difficult...

HCG Day Twelve...

Today is actually day two of being under 200 pounds; yesterday I was 199.6, today I was 199.2.  The weight loss is starting to slow, but that's okay; I have lost seventeen pounds in twelve days.  Yes, some was weight gained from my period, but it's still pretty good.  The next goal I have is to be under 190, and I don't know whether or not I will get there.  Any weight under 190 changes my designation from "obese" to "overweight", so it is pretty important.  I also want to be as light as possible to do the Color Run, which is 15 December.
Emotionally, my depression is absolutely crazy, and the changes in the people around me make me angry and sad; why wasn't the real me good enough?  Why do I have to be physically attractive to even consider having my emotional needs met?  Not having a counselor is also wearing on me; having no one to bounce all of these feelings off of.
The diet is still difficult, especially when I have to put out cheese cubes for the little girl I watch (and want the cheese really badly).  I was having trouble with physical hunger at first, but now it is the emotional/mental hunger again; in fact, when I eat my two "meals", I get full half way through them, and have to stretch out eating them so I can get it all down.
Hanging on by the fingernails...

HCG Round Five Begins

This is day three of round five... and this is the first time that I have been heavier than when I ended the time before.  I ended at 207, and I started this round at 216.  Depressing, but I will deal with it.  I have been as heavy as 226 and as light as 199.2 (for two seconds).
This is the last day of "eat fatty stuff", and I have just shopped for my food.  The only thing missing is my mustard... I am so addicted to the stuff, and you can only find it in one place -- this special shop in Belleair.
Physically, I have trained myself up to running over four miles (I ran 4.5 a couple of times), my time consistent at about 15-16 minutes (have run just under 14 minutes a few times).  I have broken in the Vibram Fivefingers shoes, and run exclusively in them.
I need to be diligent; my going under 200 pounds is now a maybe instead of a definite... and then I will have to hit the ground running to train for the Color Run on December 15th... my first 5K.  I have considered hiring a trainer... maybe...

Catching Up Since Round Four Ended

It has been a busy time for me.  Round four ended last Saturday (May 19th).
Weight wise, it has been a rough road; I lost twenty-one pounds to make 207.2 (I believe) on that day, and on that day I got my period and lost three pounds in two days.  Whatever.  Currently I am about 205 pounds and holding.
Physically, I can run a 5K!  It only took me about a week to do that.  I bought myself some barefoot running shoes, Vibram Fivefingers, and I ran two miles on them once; I like them, but I will take the advice of an article I read and swap them with regular running shoes so I don't injure myself.
Food-wise, I am struggling some.  I want food for sure.  It has also gotten blistering hot in Florida (about 98 degrees) so I am very dehydrated.
Need a nap....