Today is actually day two of being under 200 pounds; yesterday I was 199.6, today I was 199.2. The weight loss is starting to slow, but that's okay; I have lost seventeen pounds in twelve days. Yes, some was weight gained from my period, but it's still pretty good. The next goal I have is to be under 190, and I don't know whether or not I will get there. Any weight under 190 changes my designation from "obese" to "overweight", so it is pretty important. I also want to be as light as possible to do the Color Run, which is 15 December.
Emotionally, my depression is absolutely crazy, and the changes in the people around me make me angry and sad; why wasn't the real me good enough? Why do I have to be physically attractive to even consider having my emotional needs met? Not having a counselor is also wearing on me; having no one to bounce all of these feelings off of.
The diet is still difficult, especially when I have to put out cheese cubes for the little girl I watch (and want the cheese really badly). I was having trouble with physical hunger at first, but now it is the emotional/mental hunger again; in fact, when I eat my two "meals", I get full half way through them, and have to stretch out eating them so I can get it all down.
Hanging on by the fingernails...
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